Our Team
Wobegon Wealth Management is a small operation, which is how we like it.
We have exactly one client, and at last count, somewhere between ten and fourteen full-time staff, depending on whether you count the Norwegian Bachelor Farmers, which is hard to do because they don't like to be counted and tend to wander off when you try.
The client-to-staff ratio is unusual, we're told, but it means we can give Karyn our full attention, which is more than most wealth management firms can say.
Here are the folks who keep things running, more or less, when they're around, which is most of the time, except during harvest and ice fishing season.
Garrison Keillor
Garrison spent years hosting a radio variety show before discovering that Warren Buffett had been a listener all along. After a lengthy correspondence conducted entirely by postcard, Garrison learned the fundamentals of value investing and decided to put them to use for exactly one person. He writes the quarterly letters, sets the overall philosophy, and reminds everyone that the goal isn't to get rich quick—it's to not do anything stupid.
Guy Noir
A dark office in a city that knows how to keep its secrets. One man, searching for answers to life's persistent questions—like whether this ETF expense ratio is really worth it, and why anyone would buy bonds at these yields. Guy brings his investigative skills to due diligence, following the money wherever it leads, which is usually to index funds.
Dusty & Lefty
These old cowboys have seen a lot of stampedes in their day, and they know that when the herd gets spooked, the smart move is to stay calm and keep your seat in the saddle. They handle rebalancing with the patience of men who've spent long nights on the range, waiting for morning. "The market'll do what it does," Dusty says. "Our job is to not fall off the horse."
Pastor Inkqvist
Pastor Inkqvist brings a Lutheran sensibility to all investment decisions, which means asking hard questions like "Do we really need this?" and "What would the neighbors think?" He reviews all trades for moral hazard and excessive cleverness. His sermons on the sin of high-frequency trading have been known to clear a room.
Bertha
From her Kitty Boutique, Bertha has expanded into trust services, because somebody has to think about what happens to your money after you're gone. She handles the paperwork with the same care she gives to her cats, which is to say: methodically, and with frequent snacks. "Estate planning isn't morbid," she says. "It's practical. Like buying kibble in bulk."
Matt
Matt handles all the computer things. Garrison isn't entirely sure what this involves, but it seems to require a lot of typing and occasional sighing. Matt built this website, maintains the spreadsheets, and explains the same things about passwords roughly once a quarter. He assures us everything is "in the cloud," which Garrison finds poetic if somewhat concerning.
The Norwegian Bachelor Farmers
These gentlemen have been sitting on the same land for generations, and they bring that perspective to investing. They don't get excited about much, which is exactly what you want in advisors. When asked about market volatility, they tend to stare at the horizon and say nothing, which is usually the right response.
Barb & Jim
From their little shop on Main Street, Barb and Jim have been selling fear for years, and they know all the varieties. They review our portfolio for things that could go wrong—market crashes, inflation, black swans, and the possibility that we've all been doing this wrong the whole time. "We're not pessimists," Jim says. "We're realists who read the fine print."